Road Trips and New Projects

I went on the first road trip of the summer yesterday. It was pretty awesome, but incredibly tiring. I went with my best friend to see one of our other friends and her girlfriend. I missed them muchly. They took us all over their town and by the time we made it to the bar that night, I was totally wiped out. That didn't stop me from getting mildly drunk and playing word search. And even though I felt like I failed at keeping my bestie entertained, she (not so subtly) reminded me that she's not that high maintenance. So I played more word search and we left.

I needed the quiet today. Yesterday was filled with noise. People, cars, music, more people, indistinct chatter, everything. Lots and lots of noise. Today, there's nothing but calmness. Tomorrow, there will probably be more adventure. And maybe a kitten (which I'm highly allergic to)!

Given time alone, I see that I really don't write much. When I do write, I tend to write for hours or until I have to make myself go to sleep. Unfortunately, when I stop writing in the middle of a new project, it seems I won't remember where I was going with it. But I do seem to enjoy the revision process. I've been revising the same four pages for about a week now, but only because I don't know where to go anymore. I may switch over to another project until I figure that one out.

I'm adding bartending, programming, and nonlinear editing to my list of possible skills for the remainder of this month and the next. I may be getting my license to sell alcohol on Tuesday and starting bartending school next week. Or maybe this weekend, depending. I'm also going to try my hardest to get through my C++ book. It's a hefty book with a lot of technical jargon, but I'm going to try it out anyway. I want to see if I actually like programming things before I go to school in it. Towards the end of next month I plan to take a weekend class on Final Cut Pro X to see if I like it. Lots of experimental things going on in June if I actually do any of it.

As to romance, I think I'm making progress! Not with anyone, just with the way I see things. I always knew that I have to start asking for what I want, but I'm scared that it would change the way people see me. I've always been afraid that it would make them think that all I wanted from them was sex (or kisses or cuddles or whatever). Now I'm starting to see there's a difference between being gross and being genuine.

Saying something like, "You and I both know we're going to bang, so let's cut the crap and get to it" probably won't get me the response I want (not that I would ever say something like that, well, not usually). But maybe something like, "It's totally okay if you don't want to, but would it be okay if I kissed you right now" probably would. The point being that it's okay to find someone attractive. And it's okay to want to kiss them and cuddle with them. And asking for those things doesn't automatically make you a sleazy perv. Rudimentary, yes, but something I've never really wrapped my head around.

It's sad that I'm only now beginning to learn these things. But I did learn other totally awesome things, like reading and being open-minded! So I guess that evens things out some.

Anyway. I'm going to read some comics, maybe watch a movie, thumb through this big ass book and go to sleep. Hope everyone else is doing well too. Night!

~Rogue

Sleepy Post: Three of a Kind

Okay not to make any grand sweeping statements, but I'm never going to find anyone!

Silliness aside, here's my dilemma: there are three people who I want to make happy time with. All three are committed in one way or the other. One stimulates me mentally, mostly, the other two stimulate me physically. Of the two that stimulates me physically, one makes me feel emotional, the other, feral. I feel like all three like me in some way, but I'm terrible at reading signs so they all could just be incredibly friendly. Of the three, I'm only afraid of losing one, but I'm afraid of getting my butt kicked by the other's partner (not literally though). And I'd be afraid to break up the relationship of the last one. I only want to be in a relationship with one of the three  The other two spell disaster from a mile away. Let's break it down with letters!

Person A: Incredibly smart, stimulates me mentally in ways that only professors have been able to interest me, incredibly honest, open-minded, adventurous, spontaneous, wonderful sense of humor, experienced, settled, strong, could hold me down both mentally and physically, BUT has penis (which I'm not too big on at the moment).

Person B: Loving, sweet, funny, trustworthy, patient, sensuous, addictive, gorgeous BUT we're friends.

Person C: Innocent in a way that drives me crazy, kinky, sexual, open-minded, experimental, drives the blood straight into my pants at a moment's notice, BUT has a partner who I wouldn't be able to look in the face afterwards (unless I got permission beforehand).

I really couldn't imagine myself having sex with A because I can't get over the mental block of him having a penis. I really want to be with a woman at this point in my life, but if I ended up with him I would still be incredibly happy. He still has a nice body and I could learn to love his penis, I guess. I could definitely see myself lying in his arms and talking all night, but I would only want to do this if we got into a relationship. It would kill me to only be friends with him and be his cuddle buddy.

I go back and forth with whether I want to sex up B, because I enjoy her company more than I want her sex. The problem is that she is very seductive and I'm only mortal. She activates all of my senses. Part of me really doubts that she does it on purpose, but it still makes me want to jump her anyway. She would make both a good fuck buddy and cuddle buddy. I'm a bit confused about the logistics of our relationship, because she's definitely more butch than I am, but I also think that wouldn't be that big of a deal at all if we ever did anything. The problem is that I love having her as friend only. I don't know what sex (or cuddling) would do to our relationship and I'm pretty afraid of asking.

I definitely want to have sex with person C. I want to have wild, biting, scratching fun sex with C, but I actually like and respect her partner. I would want to wait until I got full permission before I did anything, even though I already know that the answer would be no because C's been pretty bad lately.  So fun time with (near) strangers is out of the question for now. I'm probably not going to see her for a while (meaning until next week) anyway so I should be fine. Even when I do see her, I'll make sure not to get her alone unless I've talked to her partner by then.

I'm uber concerned with sex right now because I haven't had any (even bad sex) for over a year and I really miss feeling other bodies. Besides that, I'm out of school so sex has been on my mind a lot. I've spent most of these last two days getting off. Anyway, I'm more interested in intimacy than just sex so that makes all of this harder. I feel bad because I've been using my friends as outlets for affection, but I'm not sure how far I can (or should) take it. Really, I just want full access to someone's body who consents to me being there. That would be awesome.

But I'm tired now so I'm going to stop. Good night, folks.
~R.

TMI Tuesday: Fancy Fancy

It's that time of the week again... (regular post shall follow)!

Thank you to Virtual Sin for this week’s TMI Tuesday.

FINE DINING

You are having dinner at the best restaurant you can imagine. Do not concern yourself with over-eating, or other restrictions. We want to know what you like best. What will you have for:

1. Before dinner wine, aperitif, or cocktail?

I would probably get a cocktail, maybe a martini. I don't really like wine, but I've only tried it once so far. Honestly though, all alcohols taste pretty bad to me.

2: Appetizer?

Bread...? I don't know.3. Soup?

I'm more of a salad girl actually. 4. Salad?

Mixed greens are my favorite, especially with pecans or walnuts and fruit. Yum!5. Wine or other beverage with dinner?

No thanks, water will be enough.6. Entree?

I'm terrible about giving the names of dishes, but I do enjoy chicken very much. So just about any dish with that I would gladly eat.7. Side Dishes?

Artichoke and squash sound good to me.8. Dessert?

Quite anything with chocolate on it. Bonus points if there is a warm chocolate and ice cream on the same plate.9. After dinner drink?

Sure. I don't mind drinking before and after dinner, but drinking with food doesn't agree with my stomach so much. Blame it on college.10. Which 3 people would you invite to dinner: (must be famous, well-known, living or dead, not fictional)

- For sex appeal: Meagan Good or Tina Fey  (funny + sexy = lady boner)
- For great conversation: Rachel Maddow or Wanda Sykes (smart + sexy = lady boner)
- Because you detest them: Rush Limbaugh (....ew)

Bonus: Your lover brings you breakfast in bed. What’s on the tray?

If it had to be food, then croissants, fruit and nutella. Otherwise, I'd rather just have them for breakfast. Morning sex is the best after all.

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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblogfrom your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Post College Life

Happy Mother's Day! Or what's left of it.

I applied for a job. As in the singular. As in one.
I'm having a hard time trying to pick what I want to do, so I'm going on this epic journey of epicness into all kinds of strange jobs. On my list is bartista, technical writer (the writer of manuals), child and family photographer, baker, speech writer, and bank teller. These are the things that I want to do. I'm pretty confident that I'll get offered for almost all of these (if I actually apply sometime soon), but I don't have a hierarchy for them. Honestly, they all sound interesting.

Since then, I've been writing! I already have four pages of a short story that I'm writing. I didn't write today because my family made me spend time with them, but I'm going back at it tomorrow. I even know how it's going to end!

Other than that, I've hit on a waiter, got my friend incredibly drunk off shots, had a horrible post grad dinner followed by an awesome post grad dinner, played pathfinder while drinking a strangely smooth scotch, and watched movies. I want to watch one more, but I have work in the morning. And I've already made plans to go see the Avengers tomorrow.

The world hasn't ended yet. Awesome.
~R.

Graduation Time!

I walk tomorrow. That's right folks, this Rogue is going to be a free woman in just a few short hours. Freedom actually came just a few minutes ago when I finished the last paper of my undergraduate career. When I tell you, I've never enjoyed pressing a button more than I did tonight, I probably would be lying because I own vibrators.

Tomorrow I will pack up and move back into my mom's house and start my adventure as a postgraduate. At this point, I'm just ready for things to slow down. We'll see what happens when reality hits. Until then, I'll watch an obscene about of movies, pretend that I'm going to read several different books, hopefully write creatively, and, of course, get my best friend uber wasted and call her boyfriend to take her home.
Because I'm classy.

~R.

Masturbation Month Story!

(All this talk about masturbating has gotten me a bit excited. But my current circumstances prevent any such activities for a while. So I shall write out my frustration in honor of masturbation month!)

It's usually that moment before your tongue ever touches her clit, when your lips are inches away from hers, that you realize just how much you've missed being down there. It's early in the morning. The sun hasn't even come up to start the day, but we've already been at it for twenty minutes. I like to wake her up with an orgasm as much as I can, but sometimes our schedules are off. Sometimes, I have to surprise her in the shower, at breakfast or at her job. Sometimes she'll make me wait until that night, until after she's cooked and I've washed the dishes, after we've bathe, and then maybe, maybe, if I've been good....

She had to stay late at the office that night. I had gotten home, cooked, watched tv, waited. Somewhere between her phone call and 30 Rock, I had fallen asleep. When I woke up she was in bed next to me. She looked so peaceful lying there and I could feel all the love I had for her expand inside me. I lied back down beside her and tried to go back to sleep. I had a presentation at work and I needed to be at my best.

I closed my eyes and put my hand on her stomach. Her skin was soft and warm from the covers. From her stomach, I traveled up to her breast and circled her nipples until I could feel them harden beneath my hand. When she woke up, I had her nipple in my mouth and my hand in her underwear. I don't know why she insisted on wearing panties to bed. I think she liked to watch me struggle to get them off her. It never felt like I could take them off fast enough, but I did and there I was lip to lip with her pussy.

Before I could get any closer, she reached down and guided me back up for a kiss. A long, deep kiss. The kind she gave when she wanted me right then, everything else be damned. I'm sure she had to get up just as early as I did. Our schedules had been horrible this week and she hated to wake me up for sex even though I tell her it's no big deal. She pushed me back on the bed, still kissing me, but now her hand is on my pussy, spreading my lips to meet my clit. I gasp when she puts one, then two, fingers inside me.

By her rhythm, I could tell she missed me. It's been too long. She needed to feel me just as much as she needed to be felt. She stopped, sliding her fingers out of me as slow as possible to watch me shiver. New position. She sucked her fingers as she straddled me. God, she was so fucking wet. I savored her smell before kissing her lips, licking her wetness. She tilted her hips to press her clit to my mouth. No more games. I kissed it, sucked it, went over it with my tongue and lips while deep, throaty  moans escaped her. I slipped my tongue inside her and immediately she began to ride it.

I could see her breast bouncing under her t-shirt. I reached up and ran my thumb over her nipples, squeezing them just enough to make her cry out again. She was riding harder now, trying to get as much of my tongue insider her as possible. If only she would let me get up, but she was too close now. Before long, she tensed up in the shock of her orgasm. Her moans, now screams, now sighs as she tried to catch her breath. I licked up the cum that dribbled out of her and sucked her clit just a little more before she fell back on the bed beside me.

She kissed me hard, deep, devouring the tongue that had just been inside her. Then she laid back down to catch her breath. The sun was out now. It was morning. Our alarm clock went out and she jumped up to turn it off. Then she went to the bathroom and started to run the shower.

"But wait," I called out from the bed, as out of breath as she. "What about me?"

TMI Tuesday: Masturbation!

I can't believe it's Tuesday already again. Oh well, I will take a break from studying and play along.

M is for masturbation

1. How often do you masturbate?

Pretty darn often actually. It's a good way to go to sleep and wake up and de-stress and calm down and focus...
But really, it depends on the day or week I've been having. Most days, I'll only do it once or maybe not at all. If I'm bored or stressed out, it may jump to two or three times a day. If I'm horny and I don't have anything important that day, it can be an all day affair.

2. What are you doing to celebrate Masturbation month?

Graduating from college and masturbating more? Getting a partner to masturbate with? Eating ice cream? To be honest, I didn't know this was masturbation month so nothing really.

3. Do you like to watch your partner masturbate?
a. Yes, it turns me on.
b. Sometimes, because it gets my partner very aroused.
c. Not really, it’s boring.
d. No, it’s a turn off.
e. I’ve never experienced it but I’d like to.

God yes. Okay, I've never done it before, but I really want to! I'm a bit of a voyeur anyway and  I like the idea of seeing what gets somebody else off, especially if I have the chance of trying my hand at it (no pun intended).

4. Do you let your partner watch you masturbate?
a. Yes, it turns me on to be watched.
b. Sometimes, because it gets my partner very aroused.
c. No, it’s embarrassing.d. I’ve never experienced it but I’d like to.

I tried it once, but she wasn't interested and I felt like it had to be a porn production so that ended that. If I tried it again, it would probably have to be something my partner asked me for because I doubt I would initiate.

5. Mutual masturbation? Yea or Nay?

Maybe. I never tried it, but it sounds fun. It drives me crazy to give someone else pleasure so it would be nice to have a helping hand during. But then again, I really enjoy edging. So yea, maybe.

6. If you had an all-expense-paid trip to San Francisco to attend Masturbate-a-thon 2012would you go and masturbate? Why or Why not?

Of course! Who would turn that down? Admittedly, I'd be a little gun shy, but it's California. California and masturbation are my two favorite things in life.

http://masturbate2012.tumblr.com/

The Center for Sex & Culture
Sunday, May 27, 10am-midnight
Arrive by 9pm
$40 minimum self-sponsorship; or bring sponsorship form with pledges

All genders, all orientations welcome to explore self-pleasure in a supportive group environment. Check the next newsletter for more detail about this year’s Thon, and join us to Come for a Cause!

All donations and pledges support CSC’s operations and programs.

Bonus: Are you addicted to masturbating?

Probably. I mostly do it for the orgasm, but I really enjoy the build up, edging, and playing in different ways. Besides, if I didn't do it for a couple of days I get pretty irritable. Like most people in the morning before coffee irritable. The longest I've gone without was three days and trust me, those three days were bad for everyone.

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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblogfrom your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Happiness

A wonderful thing just happened to me. I realized that I'm leaving school without debt, with my own car, enough savings to cover me for a couple months after graduation, a small summer position to also cover me until I find another job, a place to stay (okay, it's my parents' house, but it's still a place to stay!), and a world of time to write, take pictures, travel, explore, read, and all of those other things that make me uber happy. In short, I hit the fucking jackpot!

I can slow down and enjoy life now. I don't have to rush to do anything, which was totally my impulse. It's going to suck to have to go back to the house, but I know my mom wouldn't mind at all. In fact, she would probably be overjoyed that I came back home, especially if I help out with the bills and start doing stuff around the house. I'll talk to her about it later this week to see how she feels, but I honestly don't think it would be a problem.

And since I don't know what the hell I want to do anyway, I can also use this time to take up internships or do other random jobs in fields I would have never considered before. The only real fear in all of this (and I guess the fear I've always had about life) is that I would get stuck in one place and not move. My hope is that I'll be so busy exploring the world that I wouldn't have time to get stuck. That seeing different places and doing different things will be enough motivation for me to keep moving, to move out of my parents' house, and maybe to move towards a career that I love. Not that any of this has to happen in any type of order.

I can relax now. I have time. I can do things. I can finally go back to writing! I'm glad I didn't apply to graduate school now. This is exactly what I needed.

~R.

TMI Tuesday: The Here & Now

TMI Tuesday time. Then work, then sleep (possibly), then repeat.

The Here & Now

1. Are you wearing any jewelry? What?

Yep. I'm wearing all of my piercing jewelry. I usually wear my rainbow bracelet and a necklace too, but I don't have either on today.

2. What are you listening to now?

The computer and refrigerator humming. The house is asleep and I'm in the kitchen. I need to finish up some work and then I'm probably going to bed too.

3. What is the last piece of entertainment media (i.e., cd, download, book, DVD) that you purchased? Do you recommend it?

The last thing I bought was a graphic novel about a girl who befriends a ghost. I haven't read it yet, but I really enjoy graphic novels so probably.

4. What kind of undergarments are you wearing right now? Care to post a photo?

Black bra and panties. Usually the bra goes the second I make it back to the apartment, but I thought I was going to leave the house again. No photo, sorry.

5. What is your current mood?

Sleepy and semi-excited. I really shouldn't be sleepy, but I have homework. That always makes me want to take a nap. Semi-excited because I found out I'll be working (for pay) this summer. That's one less thing to worry about.

6. What is the best looking thing about you today?

My breast, but that's usually the case.

7. Fill in the blank. Tonight I’m looking forward to eating ice cream and job hunting. As boring as that sounds, planning out career stuff is a bit exciting (and scary) for me. When I think about it theoretically I'm terrified because I've been brainwashed into thinking I have no options, but when I'm actually looking at interesting positions that I can apply for, I get really happy. 

Bonus: Tell me something good…anything you want to share. Just do it

I had two really good orgasms today, got to get dinner with a friend, talked to my bestie and the Gentleman, and realized that I have a solid month of work before I will be unemployed after graduation. All in all, today was bitchin'.

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How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblogfrom your website!