I went on the first road trip of the summer yesterday. It was pretty awesome, but incredibly tiring. I went with my best friend to see one of our other friends and her girlfriend. I missed them muchly. They took us all over their town and by the time we made it to the bar that night, I was totally wiped out. That didn't stop me from getting mildly drunk and playing word search. And even though I felt like I failed at keeping my bestie entertained, she (not so subtly) reminded me that she's not that high maintenance. So I played more word search and we left.
I needed the quiet today. Yesterday was filled with noise. People, cars, music, more people, indistinct chatter, everything. Lots and lots of noise. Today, there's nothing but calmness. Tomorrow, there will probably be more adventure. And maybe a kitten (which I'm highly allergic to)!
Given time alone, I see that I really don't write much. When I do write, I tend to write for hours or until I have to make myself go to sleep. Unfortunately, when I stop writing in the middle of a new project, it seems I won't remember where I was going with it. But I do seem to enjoy the revision process. I've been revising the same four pages for about a week now, but only because I don't know where to go anymore. I may switch over to another project until I figure that one out.
I'm adding bartending, programming, and nonlinear editing to my list of possible skills for the remainder of this month and the next. I may be getting my license to sell alcohol on Tuesday and starting bartending school next week. Or maybe this weekend, depending. I'm also going to try my hardest to get through my C++ book. It's a hefty book with a lot of technical jargon, but I'm going to try it out anyway. I want to see if I actually like programming things before I go to school in it. Towards the end of next month I plan to take a weekend class on Final Cut Pro X to see if I like it. Lots of experimental things going on in June if I actually do any of it.
As to romance, I think I'm making progress! Not with anyone, just with the way I see things. I always knew that I have to start asking for what I want, but I'm scared that it would change the way people see me. I've always been afraid that it would make them think that all I wanted from them was sex (or kisses or cuddles or whatever). Now I'm starting to see there's a difference between being gross and being genuine.
Saying something like, "You and I both know we're going to bang, so let's cut the crap and get to it" probably won't get me the response I want (not that I would ever say something like that, well, not usually). But maybe something like, "It's totally okay if you don't want to, but would it be okay if I kissed you right now" probably would. The point being that it's okay to find someone attractive. And it's okay to want to kiss them and cuddle with them. And asking for those things doesn't automatically make you a sleazy perv. Rudimentary, yes, but something I've never really wrapped my head around.
It's sad that I'm only now beginning to learn these things. But I did learn other totally awesome things, like reading and being open-minded! So I guess that evens things out some.
Anyway. I'm going to read some comics, maybe watch a movie, thumb through this big ass book and go to sleep. Hope everyone else is doing well too. Night!
~Rogue
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